“Darling. . . You just had a camel.”

Probably a lot of you will disagree with me, but I believe Bill Cosby has to be one of the funniest comedians ever. His comedic timing and content are unparalleled. His facial expressions sometimes are just as funny as his words. He did not have to use profanity to get his point across or to complete a joke.

I consider myself lucky to have grown up with the Cosby Show. Just as funny as his stand-up, the cast had to constantly improve as he made up things on the fly. The show also helped pave the way for other African-American families on TV. I wish I had the chance to see him doing his stand-up.

After seeing his video entitled “Himself” (which had to be replaced with a DVD because I watched it so much), I learned that his expressions made his comedy. While hearing his other routines, I often wonder if it’d be funnier if I saw his doing it. In one of his routines in this video, “Natural Childbirth”, he talks about the birth of his and his wifes first child. In the end of this skit he states, “Darling, I love you very, very much. You just had a lizard.”, referring to the changes in color his child made as they cleaned it off.

Sometimes I think that Michele has given birth to a camel. Rachel’s eating patterns seem to be unusual for children, although it may be quite normal. On an average day, I eat approximately the same amount of food, as I’m sure most of us do. Rachel, however, eats three days worth of food in one day.

About twice a week Rachel eats us out of house and home. She is constantly coming up to me asking for more food. And eats an inordinate amount of food at each meal.  The rest of the days of the week she fasts. There is not much of any other way to say it. She eats very, very little most days of the week.

In this regard, she reminds me a lot of a camel (or really any other animal with a slow metabolism, but camels are just funny). I often joke, that her hump is not on her back, but on her front. Overall she is small for her size, she’s never had those cute, fatty baby legs. I’d swear that 75% of her body weight is in her stomach; her belly sicks out unbelievable amount.

I’m not too worried as, I’m sure she eats when she wants to, but I wonder if this is normal.

Happy Birthday!!

Yesterday was my wonderful wife’s birthday. I made her a cake and sung to her; the present is on the way. And, of course, I was sick. Vomiting sick. In some strange, crazy twist of fate I always seem to get sick on important days.

Michele’s birthday seems to be one of those important days. I woke to Rachel crying, like every morning, not feeling too well. Not feeling too well was not a big deal, I usually don’t feel to good in the morning, at least until I get my caffeine. I am horrible addicted to caffeine and the headaches are unbearable.

* * *

I went to bed a little nervous. Tomorrow I will marry Michele and be with her the rest of my life. When I woke up the next morning, however, I was much more than a little nervous. Just about from the time I woke up till the reception, I wanted to hang over the toilet and a lot of the time I did.

Between toilet trips, I laid on my bed, fading in and out of sleep, until absolutely the last possible second before I had to start getting ready. I struggled to get ready with the help of my best man and brother. Weak and pale I finally made it to the church where I had a chance to sit for a few minutes.

Between toilet trips, I sat at a table in the back of the church with my head down. At some point my mother, hearing I was sick, came in to check on me. After seeing to me for a minute, she went to check on Michele. Michele asked her how I was. My mother answered I was here. Luckily Michele accepted that answer.

The first words out of the priest’s mouth was “You’re white as a sheet.”

* * *

Most people would think that on my wedding day, it would have just been nerves. Now, I would tend to agree if this had not happened to me before. Prior to my wedding, I have had times of “morning sickness.”

I swear alcohol has never been involved in these episodes. On random, so it seemed, days, usually Saturday, I would wake up sick. Vomiting sick. Dry heaving sick. I would drink water and eat saltines just to have something to throw up. For some reason late in the afternoon, around three or four, I would inexplicably get better. After this time, I could eat anything and keep it down.

While it may have been aggravated by nerves, I think I had on of these episodes on my wedding day.

* * *

Now, vomiting is not the only sick I’ve been on important days. The day we closed on our house, I had such a sinus attack. I’ve always had bad seasonal allergies, but they have lessened as I got older. Some days, however, the come back in such a force. I send the whole day in a fog of medicine and sinus pressure.

I drifted through the closing not quite sure what was going on. Between signing documents I had to blow my nose. At first, I tried to skim over the documents so that I would know what I was signing. After reading the first paragraph of like the second documents 4 or 5 times I gave up. I even asked my wife to make sure she was looking over them.

* * *

At times, I’ve felt gilt about the amount of TV I let Rachel watch. If I let her, she would easily watch 4 or 5 hours of TV in the morning; it just mesmerizes her. (Don’t worry, I make sure she watches good programs. She loves Dora and Diego.) Today I felt a rush a relieve that she loves these two shows. She will sit quietly and watch them while I hang my head over the toilet.

Today must have been a mild version of my sick episodes because about eleven I was feeling better and even ended up eating some pizza for lunch. It was a relief that I felt better earlier than normal. I was worried about feeding Rachel as every time I stood my head would spin severely and I felt worse as I moved around.

* * *

There was a previous time I got sick on Michele’s birthday, but it was not until late in the night that it happened. Her first birthday after we were married, she worked until 9pm and I thought I would surprise her at work. So I showed up at her work and took her out to Applebee’s.

I felt a little queezy while I was waiting for her, but thought I was just really hungry.  Once we got to Applebee’s I was really starting to feel sick and one look at the nachos we got for an appetizer sent me running to the restrooms.

I ended up leaving early, leaving Michele sitting there with a full nachos appetizer sitting in front of her on her birthday with no one to share it with.

* * *

So, as you can see, it was no surprise for me to wake up yesterday sick.

Moments

Yesterday while we were out we stopped at Burger King to get a snack and a little play. On a whim, I let her sit beside me on the booth even though her feet barely hung over the edge and the table at least a foot away. I handed her chicken nuggets and we sat there happily eating our snack.

As she was munching on one of her chicken nuggets she slides over to me and leans her head against my side. I looked from my sandwich down at her and brought my arm around her. Leaning in I said, “I love you.” Between bites a little voice pipes up saying, “I uv oo.” I brought her as close as I could with my arm around her, holding her close.

Today we ventured out to the local mall. After walking around a bit she stopped in front of me and said, “Up. Up.”

Looking down to her beautiful  blue eyes, I smile and say, “What do you say?”

“Peez!”

After a short bit of carrying her, my arm got tired and I put her down to walk some more. She asked for a drink and after taking a sip she carries it wrapped up in her arm like a little football. A few seconds later, she stretches her other arm out and runs to catch up to me. It was so cute, my little football rusher.

While munching on a bit of granola bar she sat down in the middle of the mall walkway. Now we were not in a big hurry so instead of angrily ordering her up. I plopped down beside her – right there in the middle of the mall. So we sat for a few minutes, resting.

I know that these few moment are fleeting. There will be one day that she swears I am ruining her life. I accept that. And hopefully, if I’ve done my job well enough, there will even be a day that she discovers that I knew what I was talking about. But, for now, give me these little moment – these little moment that I will treasure.

Random thoughts

I often wonder if what I have to say will be long enough to fill up a post. I know that it really doesn’t matter how long it is as long as the content is good. The last couple of days have been a fog of seasonal allergies, and sleep deprivation. I have not been sleeping well the last couple of days and Rachel has had a few rough nights. Michele had the weekend off which allows me a little time to relax and disconnect. So without further delay I will write about some random thoughts/events of the last few days.

Momblocker
Doodaddy posted about his adventures of a closet momblocker Thursday. Never hearing of the term, I was intrigued what it meant. I quickly realized that I was one. While I am not a die hard momblocker, demanding my way on every issue, I do have my moments. For a long time, I would insist I get her ready for outings and pack, or check, the diaper bag. I’ve let go of it for the most part as I try to keep my mouth shut, but the thoughts run across mind. When they do, I try to remind my self she (Michele) needs to learn how to do this stuff too.

First Haircut
Saturday morning we set off to get the little ones her first professional haircut. If you’ve never heard of the place Cookie Cutters is the coolest place to get your little ones hair cut. The seats are cars, and each place has it’s own playstation where you can play a game or watch a movie while you get your haircut.

Rachel was a little apprehensive when we put her in the seat, but settled when we put on Dora. But as soon as she felt the lady tug on her hair and saw the scissors it was a fight to keep her calm enough to get her hair cut.

We will definitely go back for her later hair cuts. The idea of a salon tailored to children is wonderfully overdue. Plus they have a pac-man game I can play while she gets her hair cut. (Joking)

Family Night
Every Saturday evening my family gets together with my brothers family and my mother, usually at my mothers house. While Rachel has never been downright scared of my brother, she’s always been a little cautious. Seeing him only once a week did not give her a lot of time to warm up to him.

The last three weeks she has played with just my brother. It’s nice to see them interacting and her laughing at my brother’s antics.

Shouldn’t Have to Say
While I usually add these without posting about them, I felt that this time I needed to comment. The teething process for her has been relativity easy. Her molars are giving her some problems however. The first have already come in and the second are pushing through now. Teething has given my some of the funniest “Shouldn’t Have to Say” and Sunday was no exception.

“Don’t chew one your books.” is pretty easy to figure. I’m sure she was just trying to get some relief. However, later in the day I told her, “Don’t bite Daddy’s collar bone.” I was holding her in my left arm and she laid her head down on my shoulder. As I rubbed her back and bounced her a little I felt her razor sharp teeth dig into my collar bone. She did not break the skin or anything, but it still surprised me.

Both have been added to the “Shouldn’t Have to Say” page.

Crayons
One of the items one our list to buy at Wal-mart Saturday was a box of 96 crayons. I was amazed to find that Crayola has a box with 120 crayons! Of course, I bought the bigger box. Examining the box once we got home, I saw that the packaging was like a pencil box with three crayon boxes and a sharpener inside. I spent a few minutes looking for blue.

I pulled them out this morning to do some coloring with my daughter. She scribbled on a page as I colored next to her. She’s doing a little better about letting me have a crayon.

We’ve been working on colors with her recently, so I was excited when I heard her say pink. Looking over to verify she had it right, I told her that it was right and she did a good job. A few seconds later I heard her say pink again. I looked over and saw a pink crayons in her hands and the first one on the floor. I told her good job again. A few seconds later “Pink” she piped up again and again I looked over to see a pinkish crayon in her hand. “Good Job” I told her. She must be getting this better than we thought if she can pull 3 pink crayons out of a box.

While looking for blue, she picked up one of the smaller boxes and dumped it. For some reason I yelled at her for dumping the crayons and I took them away. A few minutes later I felt bad and wondered why I flipped out over such a small thing. After thinking about it, I don’t know. My short temper sometimes gets the better of me; patience is not one of my strong points.

My daughter has already taught me a lot and I am trying to be a better person.

I still haven’t found that darn blue!

Rough days end on a good note

Rough Days
The last couple of days has been rough for me and, probably by association, rough for Rachel as well. Baby’s Law, a not well known subdivision of Murphy’s Law, states that if the baby sleeps in you will get a less restful sleep. So, as Rachel slept in later than normal the last couple of days, I’ve found my own sleep wanning. Tampers flared as the sleep deprived (me) went up against the cranky two year old (Rachel).

It seemed, in the last couple of days, that she intended to fight with me on every single thing we did. This may also have been caused by my own tired state as we seem to feed off of each other in a spiraling nosedive. This always ends up in a very cranky, crying toddler refusing to go to sleep. And a very tired, almost relieved it’s 7:00, dad.

Yesterday started out pretty good until we neared lunch. Out shopping, we ran a little late on lunch and Rachel started to get really fussy. It’s hard to tell, sometimes, if she’s just being fussy to be fussy or if there is a real reason like she’s hungry. We got her home, fed her and put her down for her nap. Some how, while she was sleeping and without my knowledge, an alien came down, abducted my daughter, and replaced her with some evil alien creature.

I swear the person I got when she woke was not the same person I put in there a couple of hours earlier. I put down a nice, sweet and innocent little child. I got up a demon seed of satan!! Ok, maybe she was not that bad, but it was close.

Good Note
Today, was a early morning, and very tiring, but we received very good news. With the first pregnancy, my wife had pre-eclampsia. Without going into too much detail, it’s biggest characteristic, is high blood pressure which can cause fatal complication to both baby and mother. This was a pretty scaring time for Michele and I as she developed a severe case.  Everyone made it out ok the first time, but considering her mother had it with all four children, it was very possible Michele would get it again.

We saw a specialist today that is working on some emerging medicine that deals with pre-eclampsia. I’m not going to bore you with all kinds of medical jargon, but will give you the gist of what going on. Michele took a test and it told her she’s normal, well her cardio output was normal. If we take this test again in six weeks and it’s normal, there is a very, very slim chance that she will develop pre-eclampsia again. This will be a wonderful load off our minds.

Even if the test says she could develop it, this specialist has medicine that will help keep her from becoming as bad as the first time, and possibly stop it completely. This means a two hour trip once a month, but I say that’s chump change when your talking about the health of my child and wife.

Perspective

Hello *yawn* daddy
I had a really good time at my retreat over the weekend. So good, in fact, I was exhausted when I got home. Knowing that Michele and Rachel were out of town, I came home to an empty house and laid down for a nap late afternoon.

I woke up not quite sure if they were there or not. As I walked into the kitchen, on my way to the living room, I heard Michele say, “Rachel, guess who’s here.” I have to give credit to Michele for trying to get Rachel excited, but it was no use. As I entered the room Rachel just sat there, looking at me like any other day.

I have to say that I missed her, and was a bit disappointed when she did not respond by running to me, excited I was back. She does this if Michele is gone for just an hour. Is it I-spend-nine-months-in-mommy’s-belly kind of thing? With no SAHM reference, I do not know if it’s the same way reversed. Does Rachel assume I’m always there because I am? If she looks around and doesn’t see me does she think I am in the other room? I have to be around, right?

Walk
It was the perfect day for the park: cool, overcast and mid to high 70s. However, we left the car seat in the, well, car. And Michele took her car to work, of course. We did make the use of the weather by taking a walk around the neighborhood, stopping at a nearby fish and pet store.

Every time I take a walk with Rachel, I am amazed by what grabs her attention. If you’d watch her, you would learn a good lesson. Not two doors down she stops suddenly to look at a couple of dandelion clocks. She would only leave after all the little white thingies (seeds) were pulled off. Not much father down the road, we passed over a gravel drive way. She had to stop and examine all the fascinating rocks. Explaining that it was “just gravel” did not cut it for her. It took a little bit of time and effort to get her to walk again.

It was like this the whole trip. She had to stop and examine the crack in a sidewalk. Dirt. The rough surface of a different sidewalk. Dirt. A rock. Funny shaped grass (weeds). Dirt.

I think she liked the trip at least as much as the fish in the store. More than the old “smell the roses” bit can be learned here. A lesson on learning to enjoy the trip could easily be seen here as well.

I think she teaches me as much as I teach her.

Bye, Bye Daddy

Rachel was born in December of ‘05 and as February 14 neared I thought it would be a nice give for Michele (and I) to get away for the night. With Rachel being just over 2 months old, we left her with my brother and his wife who have two children of their own. We stayed over night in a local upscale hotel that was doing a Valentines Day special.

That night was a special, but conflicted night. It was only our second married Valentines and our first as parents. We enjoyed the night off, the full nights’ sleep and just being together. But we also worried a lot about our new daughter. Not to say I didn’t think my brother was up for the job. I’m sure I don’t have to explain it much; I bet you all are already nodding your heads in understanding of the conflict that we felt that night.

Since that night, I have not been away from my daughter over night. Tomorrow, I will be heading out to a little retreat and will not return until Sunday. Although I am leaving Rachel in the VERY capable hands of Michele, I can’t help worrying about how she will be. In a way, I hope she hardly notices; it would be best for her and Michele. In a way, I hope she does notice. I bet it is nice for her to run towards you as you step inside the door. I’ve never felt that. With very few exceptions, if I was outside the house she was with me. And if she wasn’t, I usually was not gone long.

I will miss her.

Testing my Patience

Right off the bat this morning I should have known something was off. Something was not quite right. Rachel who normally wakes up at around 6:00-6:30 woke up at about 7:40, at least an hour later than normal. I did like the slight sleep in, it did end up putting a damper in my planned activities.

Yesterday we left for the park around 9:00am and because today was supposed to be just as hot, I had planned to do the same. There are certain things that needs to be done before we head out. I like to get a load of dishes into the dish washer and the laundry needed to be separated.  These two things were easily done as she watched Spongebob Squarepants, but she also needs changed (diaper and clothes), feed, diaper bag needs packed and I still needed to eat. We did not get out until 9:45.

I should have known.

After Spongebob, I put her into her booster seat to eat; she threw a fit. I took her out went she was done  eating; she threw a fit. I said we were going to the park, to outside; she threw a fit. I said ok, we can stay in; she threw a fit.

 * * *

I’ve had some trouble dealing with the whole “home” part of the stay-at-home dad thing. I’ve felt isolated and alone a lot of the time. And, sadly, as a consequence Rachel and I did very little outside of the house. I feel that I have done a her wrong in some way because of this. I have, recently, resolved myself to try and take her out more often. Not only so that she can interact with other little children, but also to take some of the “home” out for me.

While Michele was pregnant with Rachel, and before, I always said that God would give me a child with a disability so I would grow in my patience. God, in his infinite wisdom, gave me a normal, healthy and rambunctious child, knowing this would be enough to test my patience.

* * *

I should have know.

For a reason I still, and probably never will, do not understand, Rachel cried almost the whole way to the park. I even stopped to check to see if she was all right. I try not to do this because kids are smart and they’ll milk you for all you got if given the chance.  The tears subsided as we pulled up to the park.

We walked over to the play ground, which is covered in mulch, like any other trip to the park. She saw the swing and headed for it. I put her in the swing, I pushed her a few times, she fussed, I pulled her out. (To keep from sounding like a jerk just pulling my child out at the slightest fussing, I asked her and tried to get a reasonable answer as to whether or not she wanted to be in the swing.) We ended up doing this a couple of times.

We headed of the the slides. At random intervals she would drop, cry, get back up, and take off again happy as she was before the fall. Now this was not a trip; she didn’t fall and hurt her self or anything like that. She would, for lack of a better description, sit hard.

* * *

The slide part of the park has an elevated walk that attaches several ladder together. There are two stairs to this walkway. If I remember correctly, there are six slides connected almost randomly around this walkway. (I’ll get picture one of these days.)

* * *

She rounded this playground equipment, heading for one of the set of stairs. As she neared the stairs, I asked her rhetorically if she was Dr. Jekyll & Ms Hyde today. After a bit more fussing, and immediate happiness, I asked her if she could say Bi-Po-Lar, emphasizing each syllable, hoping she would repeat it. She responded with I-Po-R.

As long as she knows her affliction.

 I should have known.

 Nap time was also ended up being a fight. After throwing another fit about it being nap time, she refused to go to sleep. I’ve been told, and since learned, that you can put them to bed, but you can’t make the sleep. Now if she laid there quietly until she fell asleep, I wouldn’t care if it took her 10 hours to fall asleep. But today. . .

I should have known.

 She cried. She fussed. She threw her pillow, blanket and suckie out of the crib. After much pleading by her father (me), she finally went to sleep almost 1.5 hours after I put her in her crib.

I should have known.

Da-Dee & Yarr!

Although I have seen the show on occasion, I never really got into it until a fellow stay-at-home dad and Blogger (Clare’s Dad) mentioned it ending: Kim Possible. Here’s his comments about the show ending in Goodbye, Farewell and Boo-ya! (I hope you don’t mind, Clare’s Dad, for the links.) But with Nickelodeon’s undependable programming (the line up changes almost daily), I’ve been moving over to Disney and catching this show every now and again. It’s definitely growing on me.

Today Rachel and I were watching a Kim Possible were they all go to a Historic City and Dr. Dread (I think that’s right) get possessed  by an pirate’s ghost. At one part, and many following, he says Yarr! to which Rachel repeats it. It’s caught me so off guard, I missed laughing at my little pirate.

She has also been saying “Da-dee” with increasing frequency. While you may not think this is a bug deal, it’s all in the inflection she puts in her voice. She says it when I’m tickling her or just being silly. It’s almost like “Grow up silly daddy.” The eye rolling is learned at age two I believe.

It has also been insufferably hot and humid here recently although it is supposed to be 60 by Friday. Yeah! To beat the heat Rachel and I (mostly I) decided to go to the park this morning instead of the usual afternoon. We mad it to the park at about 9:15 and had the run of it for awhile. A lady with two children joined us soon and it was only us until 10:00 or so. At about 10:30 we started to head out; it was already getting too hot for me.

The slides were still wet from the dew when I arrived. It didn’t bother me any and it didn’t slow Rachel down either. She’s running around with a wet butt within 5 minutes!

Twenty-Two Months

You are now twenty-two months old. This month has been an explosion of learning as you take in the world around you a little differently each day. You continue to amaze daddy as you string words into sentences and say new words almost every day.

Besides learning new words you’ve made great strides in learning your alphabet. While, you may not say them no command, or even know all of them, you are learning there importance and what they mean. Numbers have been a recent addition on your repertoire. It started out like, un, oo, ee, ive, ine, ten! Woo Hoo! *claps* From the beginning you knew you were on to something.

This month has been special because it marked an unusual event: vacation. Although you do not quite understand the concept yet, you enjoyed discovering a new place and experiencing different world. Wonderworks, the interactive science museum, and the Ripley’s Aquarium had to be your two favorite places that we went. Your favorite thing about vacation, by far, was mommy – all day, every day.

Daddy has finally gotten off his butt and has taken you to the park on a regular basis. It seems that you like the equipment equal to just wandering around the park. It’ll take you a while to explore it all, but you are determined to do so. We have also found us a park buddy. Her child is only 10 months old, but in less than a year you two could be running around the park together. You did enjoy tickling her feet the other day.

You favorite shows continue to be SpongeBob Squarepants and Dora the Explorer. I do think, however, that you like Boots more than Dora, but that’s ok – monkeys are fun. Some other, less important, shows you enjoy to watch are The Wiggles, JoJo’s Circus, Charley and Lola, Handy Mandy, My Friends: Tigger and Pooh, and Higglytown Heroes which could be the most disturbing.

As I look at you each day, I can’t believe how much of a little girl you are becoming. And how fast you are learning new things. Soon you will be two and daddy will throw up his hands and wonder where all the time has went as he watches you becoming more independent.

Love,
Daddy