Back to Reality

The last few days, as are with any right after a trip, were packed with getting the house back in order. Mysteriously things seem to pile up after you’re away from the house for a few days. The dishes seems to be more numerous and the house seems to be a little dirtier and more cluttered. Not to mention all the laundry you bring back after a few days trip. Now all this normally happened during those three days, but seem to be a little harder after having some time off.

Saturday
We arrived home very late Friday night, so the only unpacking that was done was to empty the car. Saturday morning Michele went off to work as I woke to a house full of suitcases and dirty laundry. Most of Saturday was spent getting the house back to the normal operation. Most of which involved putting suitcases away and straightening the mess that we made as we brought everything in.

Sunday
By the time Sunday rolled around I had most of the straightening done. The dishes and the laundry was still backed up a bit. An interesting thing was brought full force about these two chores this weekend - they still pile up while you do them. It seems the harder I try to catch up on these two chores the more I produce to do.

The rest of Sunday was spent watching football. While I’m not a huge fan, it has been growing on me as the years go by. I was never a big sports fan, but Michele grew up in a heavy football area. At first, I’d only watch if she was watching, then I started watching the games even if she wasn’t, then I was rooting. And now, I am watching the games of the other teams in the divisions.

Monday
Monday was a low day. Not sure why, but I was mentally and physically exhausted most of the day. With the baby boy on the way, I had to still get things done. March 29 (due date) is still a while of, but we waited too long last time and it felt like a rush. Most of Monday was spent trying to start on getting the spare room made into a baby’s room. With the evening spent watching the Monday night football game.

Tuesday
Today seemed to slow down a bit, but that was helped by Michele not having to work a full day. When she is home, I usually get a break, but have to do house work. With Michele’s suggestion, I bit the bullet, pulled out the lawn mower and mowed the grass for hopefully the last time of the season.

I’m not an outdoor person let alone a green thumb. My least liked chore is probably mowing so I tend to do it very little. So with the cold wind nipping at my neck I tried (in vein) to start the lawn mower, resulting in what felt like a pulled shoulder. With the weather being so cold, I thought the motor and oil were too cold to roll over, so I put it in the garage, turned on the heat and let it warm up. About ten minutes later and much to my dismay it started right up.

Traveling

This thanksgiving we decided to visit Michele’s parents in Indiana. This is about a eight hour drive - give or take, depending on how fast you like to drive. We have made this trip a few times already, both with and without Rachel. The trip, itself, is pretty easy. The whole way is interstate, with most of it being one.

We have travel at different times to best accommodate Rachel. While we can’t do everything to make her happy on such a long car trip, a happy baby is a good baby. And if we have a good, happy baby then everyone is happy.

I think the first time we went, we left during the day and quickly discovered that this was not the best option. With Rachel being quite young when we made this trip, we had to stop quite often for feedings and changings, things I do not recommend trying while driving on the highway. This turned a 8 hour trip into 10 hours. It was long and grueling.

Taking a cue from Michele’s aunt and uncle, we tried driving through the night. Our thought, as was theirs, was they are already sleeping and require little so the trip will be easier. At this time Rachel slept for 12 hours at night so instead of leaving at 7 and arriving at 3 with a time change making it 2, we left later which made us wake Rachel up in the middle of the night.

Although it did take some work to get Rachel back to sleep, the trip ended up being quite pleasant and worked well for us. Stopping only for bathroom breaks and gas, we made in in less than 8 hours. A big difference even if it meant staying up all night.

We traveled this way on a few occasions, but on this last trip it did not quite work out as well. On the way down, Rachel slept for only 2 hours in the car. She was quite pleasant still in the car. She was, however, quite grumpy the next day.

Because of time restrains we decided that on the way back we would grin and bare the through-the-day trip, letting us maximize the visiting time. In the end it was not too bad. We left at around 3 and Rachel fussed until we stopped to eat at 6. Dinner, for some reason was a battle. Usually Rachel is good in restaurants, but this time a nightmare. But after dinner was another story. With a full belly and sleepy eyes Rachel slept most of the time back home. She fussed a couple of times, but with a resuckification she fell back to sleep. We’ve been only letting her have her suckie (pacifier) while she’s sleeping. We arrived home at about 11:30, making it a 8 1/2 hour trip - very good with a sit down meal.

We have a new battle plan in regards to long trips. Instead of waking her up, which I think is part of the problem, we will let her fall asleep in the car. We’ll be leaving around 5, eating around 6 or 6:30 and then with a full tummy, hopefully, she’ll fall asleep. This will mean we will arrive around midnight, which would not be bad.

One little caveat though. With a new little one on the way, will the plans change? His sleeping schedule could, and probably will, throw this plan out of the window.

New word time:
Resuckification - noun - The act of returning a suckie (also known as pacifier or binkie) to the mouth of a newly awaken child in the hopes that said child will fall bake to sleep.

We’re back, unmissed.

The wife and I had a wonderful weekend getaway. It was nice to be able to relax, breathe for a few days and focus on each other. We did a lot of exercises to help reconnect with each other and help us to better communicate with each other. While we are not having specific problem, we thought anyone could always improve on the subject of communication.

While we were gone Rachel stayed with my brother’s family. She loves playing with her two older cousins who are also both girls. When we went to get her Sunday night she was playing with my brother. We almost had to conjole our daughter to return home with us. I think she was excited to see us, but had a lot of fun while she was there.

I am torn on her not missing us. Some part of me wanted to hear that she cried the whole time, begging for us. Some part of me was relieved that she was not that bad for my brother.  She is growing up and learning that mommy and daddy are permanent and will return.

Today was a pretty easy day. She woke up kind of late and dragged herself around all day. She has a runny nose so I think she has a little cold which is sapping the energy from her normal excited body. She went to bed both for her nap and bedtime with out a bit of fuss. The only hard part of the day was trying to wipe her nose. I’m sure it hurt as I tried to get as much snot as possible. She still does not understand blowing through the nose.

She’s tearing me apart

Balance. So much of what we do as parents require balance. We are always (at least I was) told to “pick your battles.” You want to discipline them, but in accordance with what they’ve done wrong. You want to protect them, but not be overbearing. You want them to be well fed, but not become obese.

So many times, I look back at what I did and wonder if I should have “picked my battle.” Should I have really enforced what I did? Will it matter in 1, 5, or 10 years? We know so much more now, then we ever did about psychology and how childhood effects our adulthood. Sometimes, I think all this knowledge has only made us become over protective. After all our parents faired much worse and are ok now.

Rachel has been going through a phase where she will tear books. I love to read and am trying to instill that into my daughter. She likes her books, but she is just too rough with them. There are times when it’s not quite her fault. She’s a picker. She has always loved to pick at things. Given the chance she’ll pick the sticker off of any toy she has. Some of our books are “well loved” shall we say. These usually have frayed corners or some other enticing feature which she just can’t help to pick.

I have repeatedly told her not to rip books. Rip. Bad. I’ve been trying to teach her. Today she ripped another of her books and in a (maybe) overreaction I pulled all of her books from her and told her she can’t have them.  She, of course, threw a fit and cried for a few minutes, ending with her saying, “More books, please.” And even throwing in the sign for “more.” I let her have one book at a time, making her put the last one away before getting a new one.

Now I wonder if I overreacted. It’s not like she is ripping every single book every chance she gets. For the most part, I believe it is an accident; her not being mindful or careful enough. She is two years old and we are on a teeter-totter between toddler and little girl. Where is that “she should know” line? Will she eventually learn or grow out of it? Did I somehow do some emotional damage today?

This is what makes parenting so hard: the questions are vague and the answers vaguer.

In the end I usually decide no, I didn’t. I just worry too much.

A boy!

We are having a boy! Although I wouldn’t have complained with another girl, I did want a boy. I’ve always wanted one of each.

Last week and Next

This last week Michele has been working some extra hours so that she can have some time off next week for Thanksgiving. Her absence has made it hard on all of us. While I am at the front line and feel the full effects of her absence, sometimes I forget how hard it is on her to be gone. Last week seemed to be ok, but the last couple of days has piled it on.

I think the longer that we run like this, Michele being gone while Rachel is awake, the harder it is. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice to have my wife home in the night. But by then the terror Rachel has gone to sleep. Rachel still takes a nap which is nice, but taking care of her all day, from wake to sleep, wears on me. At least part of the day, on normal days, Michele can take over.

The good news, however, Michele will be with us a lot over the next week. This weekend we are shacking Rachel up with my brother’s family and Michele and I are going on a little retreat. It’ll be nice that it’s just us two for a while. With another on the way those days are fleeting fast. We are also traveling to Indiana to see Michele’s parents for Thanksgiving next week. While it is a tough trip, it’ll be worth it.

Fall, the changing of leaves & Ah-Ah-choo!

In The Curse & What Should I say? I mentioned that I am afflicted with seasonal allergies. As long as I can remember, it’s been a battle during Fall and Spring to keep my head clear and focused. I often debate between the fog of allergies and the fog of allergy medicine. Luckily, my seasonal allergies have weakened over the years, but come back in full force every once in a while.

The last couple of days I’ve been fighting off another attack of the evil allergy gods. Instead of trying to remember everything over the last couple of days (which would be impossible) I will give some of highlights that I can remember.

Sunday was marked by the very exciting Steeler/Browns game. Lucky for me it came on at one, while Rachel was asleep, otherwise she would not have let me watch it. She did put up a fuss when she did wake up at the 2 minute warning. Of course, she did not pay any attention to my pleads.

“Pittsburgh is up by three. Browns have the ball. 50 yard line. Two minute warning. Please. Please,” I would beg.

“Boots. Mo-vee,” she would demand.

“40 yard line. one minute left. Almost Field Goal Range! Please.”

“mo-vee.”

I did watch the end, much to the dismay of the little one. Being a Steeler fan, I was ecstatic that they won. Roethlisberger amazes me every game!

Monday was pretty uneventful; it was a blur of sleepiness, medicine and allergies. Michele surprised me by coming home early, much to my delight. The extra free time to relax was nice, plus I went to bed early.

It’s late so I’ll call this one a post and write some more soon.

Nice Baby

Here’s a hit I should loose some weight:

While I was laying on my back, Rachel walked up to me, patted my belly and said, “Nice baby.”

In an effort to get Rachel accustomed to the idea of a new baby in the house we have been telling her that there is a baby in mommy’s belly and asking her to pat it or some other way to interact. It looks like this has backfired just a bit.

It only made since in her head if there is one in mommy’s belly there is one in daddy’s.

Balance

Yesterday, I was getting very frustrated as it was a battle to get her to go to sleep fro her nap. I was still under the seedy control of sleep deprivation from the night before and my patience with her was running very thin. Although she ate a pretty good lunch she was demanding food.

I laid her down at 12:00 which is her normal time. Recently, she has been laying awake in the crib for up to an hour. While this is very frustrating it has not effected her nap; she just sleeps later. Yesterday, she demanded food, through her suckie, crying, screaming and anything else she could do to stay away.

As night neared, I worried about how hard it would be to put her to sleep tonight. Much to my surprise, however, she went almost right to sleep. But, the night before, (and others, but not to the same extent) she woke up in the middle of the night.

We live in a small, one-story house so that if she is awake, we are all awake. While Michele laid in bed (she had to work the next day) I got up to attend to her. So we were all awake from about 2:00 to 3:30. I feel bad for Michele when Rachel keeps us up. She (Michele not Rachel) does not have the same naportunity that I do.

I wonder why she is waking up in the middle of the night all of a sudden. As I see it there are too possibilities: She is legitimately hungry and I should feed her a snack or more at supper or she is doing this to stay up longer when she knows she is not allowed to stay up. If she is hungry I want to feed her, but again I do not want to teach her that she can get food at night to stay up.

I use to feed her small graham sticks, but now I am feeding her more healthy food; I fed her apples pieces last night. I changed in the hopes that if she is doing it to stay up at least she is getting something healthy. And it may make her less inclined to ask for it if she is not getting the sweet cinnamon graham sticks.

So much of parenting is like this: a balance. I’m always worried about what I may be teaching her; especially when it may be negative. But I also want to make sure that she gets what she needs.

In case your wondering:
Naportunity - noun - the opportunity to take a nap during the day; especially when taking care of children.

Rough Night = Rough Morning

Sleep deprivation can take the kindest, most patient person and turn him into a mean, very short monster that is capable of things the person would never dare to do on a normal day. Rachel woke up around 12:30, not much later than 45 minutes than I went to bed. Demanding food, she did not let me sleep more than 30 minutes until 4:30. Exhausted, I forced myself out of bed when I heard her cry at 7:30.

I was very tempted to put her in front of the TV for the morning to make it easier on me, but I decided against it. She did watch a couple of shows as I got some caffeine into my body. About 9 we had breakfast which she was not too bad, but that was where the trouble and combative nature began.

It was “No” to everything. She would struggle when I tried to change her diaper after she complained about it being poopy. I made a big error in suggesting that we change her clothes which she fell onto the ground flailing and crying. It felt good, in a way, to know that she was also suffering from sleep deprivation. I just wish I could fall on the ground flail and cry when something doesn’t go as I planned.