Balance. So much of what we do as parents require balance. We are always (at least I was) told to “pick your battles.” You want to discipline them, but in accordance with what they’ve done wrong. You want to protect them, but not be overbearing. You want them to be well fed, but not become obese.
So many times, I look back at what I did and wonder if I should have “picked my battle.” Should I have really enforced what I did? Will it matter in 1, 5, or 10 years? We know so much more now, then we ever did about psychology and how childhood effects our adulthood. Sometimes, I think all this knowledge has only made us become over protective. After all our parents faired much worse and are ok now.
Rachel has been going through a phase where she will tear books. I love to read and am trying to instill that into my daughter. She likes her books, but she is just too rough with them. There are times when it’s not quite her fault. She’s a picker. She has always loved to pick at things. Given the chance she’ll pick the sticker off of any toy she has. Some of our books are “well loved” shall we say. These usually have frayed corners or some other enticing feature which she just can’t help to pick.
I have repeatedly told her not to rip books. Rip. Bad. I’ve been trying to teach her. Today she ripped another of her books and in a (maybe) overreaction I pulled all of her books from her and told her she can’t have them. She, of course, threw a fit and cried for a few minutes, ending with her saying, “More books, please.” And even throwing in the sign for “more.” I let her have one book at a time, making her put the last one away before getting a new one.
Now I wonder if I overreacted. It’s not like she is ripping every single book every chance she gets. For the most part, I believe it is an accident; her not being mindful or careful enough. She is two years old and we are on a teeter-totter between toddler and little girl. Where is that “she should know” line? Will she eventually learn or grow out of it? Did I somehow do some emotional damage today?
This is what makes parenting so hard: the questions are vague and the answers vaguer.
In the end I usually decide no, I didn’t. I just worry too much.
