Here is a list of the very true things that I or my family has said to the little ones running under our feet.
“Don’t chew on the pew.”
-Me to Rachel during church
“Don’t head-butt the pole.”
-Me to Rachel in Wal-Mart
“Eat with your hands.”
-Me to Rachel as she shoved her face in her plate to eat.
“Don’t head butt the baby in the mirror.”
-My wife to Rachel
“Get your finger out of that alien’s nose!”
-My wife observed a woman chastise her son for playing with an alien doll
“Get your cheese off the window.”
-My sister-in-law to her daughter
“Don’t play in the toilet.”
-My wife to Rachel
“Don’t eat your potty.”
-My wife to Rachel
“Don’t eat the sand.”
-Me to Rachel as she purposefully face dives into her sandbox
“Don’t eat the chalk.”
-Me to Rachel
“Please get your mouth off the dog toys.”
-My wife to Rachel
“Did you put a tomato in my purse?”
-my wife to Rachel
“Don’t wipe your food on the table.”
-Me to Rachel
“How long has that egg been in your purse?”
-My sister-in-law to her daughter
“Don’t play with the Caution Tape.”
-my wife to Rachel
“Stop chewing on Boots’ tail.”
-me to Rachel as she chewed on the tail of an inflatable Boots toy
“Don’t run laps around your cousin.”
-my sister-in-law to my niece as she ran around Rachel.
“Don’t shut your head in the door.”
-me to Rachel
“We don’t put our toothbrush in the toilet.”
-my wife to Rachel
“Don’t put your toothbrush between your toes.”
-me to Rachel
“Don’t chew on your book.”
-me to Rachel
“Don’t bite daddy’s collar bone.”
-me to Rachel
“Don’t eat the unicorn.”
-me to Rachel as she taste a unicorn rocker at Toys R Us
“No, don’t draw on daddy’s head.”
-me to Rachel
“Don’t eat your crayons.”
-me to Rachel
“Don’t hit daddy with the shovel.”
-me to Rachel (toy sand shovel)
“No, Uncle Johnny did not get into a fiddling duel with the devil.”
-my sister-in-law to her child after hearing “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.”
